Seeds for the Soul


How to live again after someone's death?

Identify what is happening inside of you. In a notebook keep a running tab of all the things that come up for you in your specific case, according to your situation.

a. State the problem.

Example: The person I loved died and

left me all by myself.

b. Identify the emotion.

Example: Fear of being alone.

c. Identify the feeling.

Example: I don’t know how to live alone nor do I want to.

d. Identify the thought (each person may have a different thought depending on the specific situation).

Example: Why did he/she have to die before me and leave me all alone?

e. Identify the belief.

Example: I need someone by my side at all times in order to be happy. I can’t spend my old age alone.

2. Experience all these thoughts, feelings and emotions in your heart to the maximum; in other words intensify them. Do not feel afraid of the pain this will cause.

3. Focus all your attention on the source of this pain.

4. Now take all these thoughts, feelings and emotions and try to perceive them as if they were not your own. Imagine all this is happening on a movie screen, and that you are just watching from your seat, without getting involved or engaged with what is happening. Simply observe things as they flow and unfold. In this way, you will begin to disassociate yourself from the pain and you will see that all those thoughts were only created by your mind, which is contaminated by your ego. Allow this creation of your mind to disintegrate, to disappear; release it and let it go. Understand that you are not that feeling or that emotion; you are not that pain. Simply observe it and let it disintegrate.

5. Starting today, each time a destructive thought enters your mind, replace it with its positive counterpart using a verbal affirmation. Allow this new thought to emanate freely from your heart based on love, rather than fear. For example: “I am happy because even though my loved one is no longer with me in body, his spirit lives in my heart and illuminates my path.” Repeat this out loud three times every time the negative thoughts come into your mind.

Begin to see yourself as a being that is full of light, peace and happiness. From now on you must be aware that you are like a boat that floats, navigates and flows on the ocean. Stay alert and make sure that the water does not go into your vessel.

7. Go back in time, before you met the person who died, when life was normal, without the pain and anguish you are feeling now. Were you calm and relaxed? Were you content with your life the way it was back then? This will demonstrate to you that peace and serenity will return to your life again and you will be able to relive the good times once more.

8. Write a letter expressing all the feelings and emotions that you have suppressed inside of you and now wish to release. Include everything that you would have liked to say while he or she was alive but were never able to, and express all the feelings you are experiencing now that the person is no longer by your side. Light a candle and light up the letter. As it burns, ask God to free you from that pain and help you find peace and serenity once more.