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TONIC FOR THE SOUL



Fear of failure has taken over our minds

In recent days we conducted a survey through social networks that was intended to measure the fear that people experience most frequently, assuming that those who experience the fear of death, loneliness or losing a loved one would be the ones who score the highest - but to my surprise, the biggest fear is the same that recently also held that position in a survey we conducted to students and teachers of eight private and public schools in Colombia: the fear of failure.

When I noticed that this was the outcome once again, I stopped for a while to think how a fear that is practically fictitious, since it is invented by society, could be marking so strongly the minds of so many people. Just as this fear is created by our minds, the meaning of failure or success is also created by it. Failure is a belief imposed by a consumer society and is determined according to the social circle in which we operate. In other words, what for some is failure it can be seen as a triumph, while it can cause frustration, stress, depression or lead to suicide for others. The concepts of success and failure have evolved over time, and have been adjusting and adapting to what capitalist society is showing us and what it is spreading throughout the world as the great truth.

What we see today in a very strongly way in our society is that success and failure are practically defined by the amount of money we have, and that defines to which "level" of society we belong. So, it is this exclusion what gives us so much fear? Can we not really be happy if we do not have what society tells us constantly that we must have in order to be happy? Is it that not to feel approved and recognized by others makes us feel inferior to them and that marked us so much that destroys our calmness and causes us great stress?

This programming that we are subjected to since childhood often cuts our wings to do what we really want, leaving us an indelible mark for life and making us deviate from the path and from our true mission of life, which is to be happy.

In order to put aside the fear of failure, you must thoroughly review the concepts that manage your life and so, create new ones that adapt to reality and give you peace and calmness:

  1. Identifying the belief: In order to change your belief, you must know what do you believe about success and failure. You must identify and question the belief you have about these two concepts, and review where you learned and shaped those beliefs. Were they perhaps learned from your parents who told you to be perfect, to get the best grades, to be the best student, to study for having money, power and prestige? Were you programmed to look for success and constantly think how to achieve it and when you finally think you have it, feel a great emptiness in your heart and do not know how to fill it, feeling that you are moving away and disconnecting from your inner self, from your divine essence? It is through these emotions that you can identify exactly what belief makes you suffer and makes you afraid of failure.
  2.  Identifying the fear: according to the belief you have, you have also created a fear. You must identify how is that fear and where it comes from. Is it a fear of past experiences or is it a fear of what is happening to you today and fills you with dread to what the future may bring? You may be afraid that your family is not proud of you, not having enough money to be able to achieve your dreams and to live up to your social circle, that people do not give you the importance you would like to have, not to fit within the patterns dictated by society, etc.
  3. Changing the perception: Once you have found the belief and the fear, you will be able to change the perception of what success and failure mean for you. When you change the way you look at things rigidly, things change their shape. If you considered before that failure was closely linked to not having money and that caused you fear, now you can consider that the important thing is to fully enjoy the activity you do, even if you do not make all the money you supposedly should. The worst failure is when you think that you have conquered your happiness because you are successful, and what you have done is to put your happiness in that goal, so if you do not have it, you suffer - but if you get it then you will want some more, and you will feel a great emptiness, because you are disconnected from your divine essence which is to flow lovingly, enjoying everything that comes to you, even enjoying the ups and downs, but learning from them, so you do not go through that again.

All in all, success and failure are the same energy; one is the shadow of the other. This means that when you think you are successful, the fear of failure appears, and when you fail, the fear of not succeeding appears. Therefore, enjoy intensely every step you take, finding love in every simple thing you do, thanking and appreciating what comes into your life, letting go and flowing freely, without attaching yourself to the past or to the future. In this way, every step you take will be a magnificent experience that will make you grow and give the best of you to others.




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